Thursday, May 5, 2011

Facebook Stalking, er...Research Saved Me

I was really lucky today. Earlier this week I was on an email string with some mothers from Monkey's preschool and we were discussing buying the teachers a group end-of-year gift. Today, we were supposed to turn in our contribution when we picked up the kids. Since I work, either Chip or my Mom will pick Monkey up. I left the money on the counter and told them what it was for. Easy enough, right?

At noon I get a call from Chip, saying he picked Monkey up but didn't see an envelope or anyone collecting money. Of course he couldn't ask the teacher about it because that would blow the surprise. I definitely wanted to participate in the group gift for a couple reasons. First, it is way easier for a working mother to give a gift as a group since I don't have to actually shop and pick something out on my own. Just sayin'. Second, at this particular school where most of the mothers appear to be SAHM, and are probably more involved in school activities than I am, I feel like this is an opportunity to collaborate and join in with them. I always do my best to participate (attending all field trips, contributing food to parties, etc.) but I never have time to gather and chit-chat with the other mothers after drop off as I'm rushing off to work.

Anyway, I immediately emailed the coordinating mother, and let her know what happened. She told me it was not a problem and I could bring it on Friday as that is my work from home day and I do both drop off and pick up. Well, I panicked a little. The honest truth is that I wasn't sure who this woman was! We have had play dates with a couple kids from preschool, and some of the parents who have certain careers (fire fighter, paramedic, 911 operator) who have done class presentations for the kids are familiar to me. But simply saying "so-and-so's Mom" doesn't mean much to me as I can't even identify all the kids in Monkey's class by name. I had an inkling, but the last thing I want to do on Friday is walk up to the wrong Mom and make a total ass out of myself.

I hope you're not judging me here. I know who Monkey's friends are. His class has 4 boys and 11 girls. He plays with some of the girls, but mostly hangs out with the boys. So I'm not really familiar with most of the girls because I don't really have to be. As a working mother with a ton of things to manage on a daily and weekly basis, my goal is to take care of MY CHILD. This is advice that was given to me by one of my very dear friends who has worked full time all of her children's lives and her oldest is graduating from high school. She knows what's up.

So, having a name to work with from our e-mail exchange, I decided to see if she was on Facebook. It turns out she has a Facebook account, and while most of her profile is private, she had a profile picture. I was lucky today. Lucky "so-and-so" 's Mom is on FB, and that her photo isn't of some random waterfall, flower, horse, dog or one of her own Mother which seems to be a popular trend on FB this week.  Whew. I like this Mom already. 

p.s. I'm on a roll now. I got invited to a neighborhood playgroup and I looked up all the moms on the email string. I have totally lost it. 


  1. You are certainly not on your own here. I work from home and I never mix with other mums at my daughter's school. I often feel very left out but I choose to be that way. Because I can't drive right now I don't even do the school run so can't mix with anyone then either! But I'm hoping, that once I can drive again (I'm epileptic), my daughter will do after-school activities and I'll get a bit more involved.

    Nice to meet you on Bloggy Moms, btw.
    CJ xx

  2. It took me forever to learn the parents' names. I could know all kinds of things about them, their kids, etc, but they were still Kid A's mum.

  3. I know a few of the parents of the kids in Goose's daycare classroom by sight, just from in passing during drop-off/pick-up - and I've even caught a few first names, but I would TOTALLY be in the same boat... glad for you that FB "research" saved you ;) xo

  4. Ok that was really resourceful! I am terrible at remembering names. It's so embarassing! It's not meant to be rude, I just get so wrapped up in "oh my gosh, new person talking to me, someome might like me" and get all giddy and then I lose track of salient details like names and faces and stuff.

  5. In preschool, I knew many parents by sight, but couldn't put names to more than half of them and once my kidlet entered elementary, I don't know far more parents than I do know.....and I'm a SAHM. So, you're not alone! :>

    A couple years ago, social media skeered me! And now, I can't live w/o it. lol What a great research resource!! Glad you were able to put her pic (all the pics of people's mamas have me sooo confused...I always look at the pics first and then the names and the changed pics are like a hiccup when I'm reading through statuses!)! :>

    Happy Friday!!

  6. I made a special effort to stick around after drop off today to do a little chit chatting. Plus we have the Mother's Day Brunch at the preschool at 11 a.m. I don't feel so unsociable now! :)

  7. I've done tons of research on Facebook too, you are not alone! :)

  8. You are certainly not alone! I'm glad it all worked out! I have the same problem with my son since I seem to be one of the few that actually works. I know almost all of the children but can not for the life of my associate them with the parents. Thanks for stopping by my blog, I'm now following you!

  9. One of the many beautiful things about Facebook! That's called using your resources, girlfriend!

  10. Facebook was definitely helpful for you. I think it's only stalking if you are looking up ex boyfriends.


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